The Best and Worst Tips for Starting University, According to Reddit

 

Starting university can leave you feeling in need of some guidance, preferably from an older figure, wise beyond their years, like a big sister or Kung Fu Panda’s Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom. Fortunately, thanks to the internet, you can always seek truth and refuge in the vast confines of internet forums, where dreams come to die and strangers deliver strongly worded advice for free.

Nowadays, everyone has an opinion, and Reddit users are no exception. Here are some of the genius/terrible pieces of advice Redditors have to offer new students - follow this advice at your peril!

Don’t settle down too soon

According to S4mmyK, the best thing to do when you’re starting university is to stay single and fool around, remain a bachelor or bachelorette while you still can. Higher education may not get you a job, but as god is your witness, you will mingle.

Experience life!

Playing the field won’t be for everybody though. Reddit user Lolworth agrees life experience is important, but as another unnamed Reddit user points out, university is first and foremost a place of study. Buzzkill...

Drugs aren’t cool, kids

You might expect strangers on the internet to be all about taking illegal substances, but this Reddit user recommends you stay WELL CLEAR OF DRUGS. Obviously TopUniversities doesn’t advocate drug use, but if you were going to do drugs anyway, don’t eat them. Remember the most efficient and potent way to absorb drugs these days is to throw them over your shoulder. Seriously, try it. Or don’t because TopUniversities does not advocate drug use. If that’s what you want, read Vice.

You know the type of person they mean...

Remember, moderation is key. As pyrohedgehog points out, you don’t want to be that guy. They don’t need to explain this any further: we all know someone who is that guy.

Protect your food

Of course, the single most challenging about being a fresher is sharing a flat or halls with other people. It can be a very trying experience - rife with passive aggressive kitchen notes, theft and overflowing sinks. Fortunately, there are solutions. Slackestcat, for example, thinks you should lock up your uninsured valuables (i.e. cheese) in a safe. That doesn’t seem like an overreaction.

Tea towels are the most important item for you to bring to uni

Especially if your flatmates are Scottish…because apparently they will steal them (and your cheese). Don’t forget to buy tea towels!

Take cookery advice from celebrity chefs

If you don’t know how to cook, Jamie Oliver is a good place to start, according to Pseudonym1066. Maybe don’t copy him completely though, people might find it odd if you start cooking naked...

Feeling lazy? Buy a slow cooker

If you’re planning on nourishing your body as well as your mind, chuck the contents of your fridge into a slow cooker in the morning and come back to a flat smelling of pulled pork by lunchtime, says Q-Kat. We’re sure it’s exactly that straightforward.

How to slice a pizza

Realistically, though, your student diet will contain a disproportionate amount of pizza. If, for whatever reason, you don’t fancy pulled pork and just need to figure out how to slice a margherita, apparently a pair of scissors are actually better than a proper pizza slice.

Don’t eat off the floor like an animal

Although, if you do buy a proper plate, apparently that means you’re posh.

Keep your mum out of it

This really is the best advice we could find. Robotnel rightly recommends you inform your professors they aren’t allowed to contact your mum because of BOUNDARIES. And Freud. But mostly boundaries...