Inside the Mind of a Raging London Commuter

London may be the world’s best student city right now, according to the QS Best Student Cities 2018, and there’s certainly no question about its appeal among international students and tourists alike. 

But let’s be real: If you commute to and from university (or work) in the city, then you know all about the commuter misery that tends to unfold, pretty much every day.

Here’s a sneak-peak inside the mind of a raging London commuter.

1. No, I won’t stop breathing to accommodate for one more passenger on this already overcrowded train

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This one is an absolute London-transport-classic, but with that being said, some lines are most certainly worse than others (*coughs* Piccadilly Line *coughs*)

We know you want to get to work/home on time, but seriously: The tube arrives every couple of minutes or so, it won’t kill you to wait for the next one to arrive. Can’t you see it’s already disgustingly overcrowded with humans?

Or I’ll tell you what – go ahead, climb aboard; I’ll just stop breathing and get squished to death to provide you with more space, now how’s that for some heart-warming generosity?

2. Move – get out of my way or I will scream

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So, you finally arrive at your destination, and start making your way towards the exit doors, because this is the part when you finally get to breathe, right?

Wrong. Absolutely 100 percent wrong! Amidst the insane crowding, you’ll find that most people would rather die standing than make way for those getting off. I kid you not.

3. I’m worried I will get trampled on – hello, am I invisible here?

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Yes! You’re off the tube – finally!

But I wouldn’t get too excited just yet. You look up, and there are swarms and swarms of people rushing towards you, at the speed of light; hot, flustered, stressed. It feels like the apocalypse has finally hit London. You’re probably thinking: Why is no one stopping to let me pass through? It literally takes a second…

Nope, that’s not going to happen. Just carry on walking very fast and look right, left and center, or you will fall over and get trampled on – in the deep and dark London underground *death glare*

I know, you’re welcome.

4. Please turn it off – you offend my ears and mood with your crappy music

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Since teenagers and ratty schoolkids don’t tend to catch the tube as much as they do the bus, this particular nuisance is more common on the London buses than it is on the tube.

Honestly, what’s with this great urge to want to let the world know what music you’re listening to? Nobody - and I repeat – nobody cares.

5. You know, this really isn’t the place to be texting or whatever the hell you’re doing

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You’re rushing down the stairs or escalator because you have a very important exam to get to, and some idiot is (ever so slowly) walking in front of you with their smiling face glued to the screen of their phone. They’re reading a text, and they’re also taking their damn time.

No, please, stop, don’t do that.

6. Move your feet out of the way – unless you want them to get stepped on, of course

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When your train arrives, you may sometimes find yourself getting on the wrong carriage – maybe you realize there are no empty seats, or you find a seat and sit down, only to look up and see a creeper sat opposite you. Whatever it may be, you’ll probably need to walk across the carriage to the next one. You’ll often find that some people will shamefully have their legs stretched out to the other side of the carriage, and they just won’t budge an inch for the occasional passer-by.

How amazingly rude you are.

7. Why does everybody else seem so freakishly calm, or am I just freakishly crazy?

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If you’ve visited the UK before, you may have noticed that there certainly is some truth to the stereotype about British people being somewhat emotionally stunted. Let me tell you, you most likely won’t get a reaction from a British person, even if you were to ride a camel in the underground whilst eating fish and chips (okay, huge exaggeration).

But really, it might make you feel crazy for being the only one to notice that outrageously loud lady sat in the corner wearing a peacock for a hat – believe me, the Brits have most likely noticed her too, they just happen to act like they haven’t.

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Well, that felt good. Though, you’ll be relieved to know that despite all this, I do love living in London; Londoners are generally extremely pleasant, polite and profusely apologetic (in fact, sometimes a little too much!) and whether you’re here to study for just a year or the full three, you’ll be very warmly welcomed and there’s a lot – and I mean a lot – to see and do here in this charmingly gray but vibrant city.

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