Student Stereotypes: Which One Are You?

When starting university you’ll need to be prepared to meet all different kinds of people and student types, some of whom you’re going to get along with, some of whom, perhaps, not so much.

It’s not only your fellow students who are going to be cast into a certain category; you’ll be getting judged too. This isn’t always a bad thing; so what if you and the amateur dramatics guy with a penchant for fedoras will never be true friends? There will be plenty more people out there who you do have things in common with and who you’ll want to hang out with.

This list incorporates some of the main student stereotypes that you’ll discover at university, from the introverts to the extroverts and everyone in between. Bearing in mind that it’s these people who will make your university experiences interesting – heck, you probably fall into a couple of categories yourself – you might not want to discount them as potential friends straight away. The purpose of this list is to make you all aware of what’s out there (insert David Attenborough-style whisper), and to help you curb some avoidable bad habits before upping and leaving for university.

Student type #1 - The one with one too many gap year memories

Call us bitter (I mean, we are, but that’s beside the point), but those students who harp on about that time when they built mud huts for endangered goats in Cambodia, or when they spent months playing rounders with Peruvian preschoolers, or that week when they lived off nothing other than the kindness of strangers and a stale pack of cereal bars in the Australian outback… well, we get a little bit of an urge to hit them. So what if their gap year taught them things that education never could, or if it made them more mature and attuned to the rest of the world than we ever could be – they won’t be making any friends at university if that’s all they can talk about. Unquestionably, a gap year is brilliant thing to experience, but not everyone will have been able to do it. So my advice if you did take a gap year: unless anyone expresses a particular interest, try to keep a lid on it!

Student type #2 - The forgetful one

The forgetful one doesn’t just forget their text book once, or twice (which is pushing it), or even three times. S/he forgets everything s/he could possibly need for every single lecture and seminar all term. Even the nicest classmate is going to draw the line at lending stationary at some point, and then what will happen? If you’re not sure whether you match this student stereotype, the signs start with a gentle “No sorry mate, I don’t have a spare pen/piece of paper/clue” and end with a less-than-sympathetic “Sort your life out, Andrew/Sarah/Peter/Laura”. Get yourself a planner. Now.

Student type #3 - The coffee addict

“You’ve only had two coffees today? I’VE HAD FIVE!” Oh, we’re sorry; we didn’t realize liking coffee was a competition. Just two months ago, before starting university, the coffee addict pronounced espresso with an ‘x’ and denounced its bitterness, but now his/her triple-shot venti macchiato is all s/he can talk about. If this is you, our advice would be to cut down and to stop talking about your caffeine issues to anyone who feigns interest because: a) you’re a student now and coffee is expensive, b) nobody likes people who go on about their vices all day, and c) you’re so wired that you’ve started to go a little bit cross eyed.

Student type #4 - The obnoxiously loud one

You’ll probably come into contact with the obnoxiously loud one sometime at 3am through the paper-thin walls of your student abode in the form of a Skrillex bass line (the obnoxiously loud ones don’t always have bad taste in music, but when they do it’s probably electro-house). Little do they care that it’s Wednesday night and dissertation season; their love of loud music makes them forget all else. These students should invest in noise-canceling headphones immediately or be prepared to spend the rest of their days as the most secretly resented person on campus.

Student type #5 - The party animal

Although sharing some similar traits to the previous student type, the party animal is actually a totally different breed. To be found at any pub/club/event within a five-mile radius of campus, the party animal (alternatively known as the BNOC – Big Name on Campus) has a big case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that will inevitably lead to bad grades, worried parents and an eternal hangover. The party animal sees university as one huge celebration and when not out getting the shots in, s/he will be planning the next Facebook event in his/her dimly lit room full of stolen traffic cones and hundreds of tired-looking glow sticks. Admittedly befriending the party animal will make your university experience an eventful one, but ultimately it’s likely that s/he will end up dropping out before reenrolling and doing exactly the same the following year. Make sure you don’t too get drawn into their antics.

Student type #6 – The one that leaves everything to the last minute

Although they’ve had seven months to prepare, research, write, and hand in their final 10,000 word assignment, these students still find themselves with six days left before deadline and the majority of work left unwritten. The one that leaves everything to the last minute will have a brilliant university experience… at least, that is, until that mammoth end of term deadline rears its ugly head. You’ll come across these students hunched over a laptop in the darkest, smelliest corner of the library, surrounded by crumpled cans of Red Bull and an aura of intense anxiety. These ones make terrible friends come end of term as, while their fellow classmates are busy celebrating a successfully met deadline with their friends at the student union/ local park/ on a beach getaway, they’ll be too busy sleeping off the most stressful week of their life, nursing a neck crick and an energy drink-induced stomach ulcer, which is no fun for anyone.

Student type #7 - The sleeper

Likely to turn up for lectures in a onesie and Uggs, the sleeper is that student who can never seem to keep his/her eyelids open for more than two minutes. When not web-diagnosing themselves with narcolepsy, they can be found slumped against a desk, idly picking their noses with a pen instead of making notes. The sleeper means well; after all, they turned up, which is more than you can say for the party animal, but it’s hard to do group work with the person who drooled all over their textbook and keeps nodding off in student-led “thought showers”.  Although they might appear harmless and doe-eyed, in order not to fall behind in class the sleeper needs to get a regular wakeup call and a better sleeping pattern.

Student type #8 - The “typical student”

An amalgamation of all the previous student stereotypes listed; the typical student is a bit of a slob, will occasionally sleep in until gone midday, will sometimes play his/her music a fraction too loud, might mention that gap year a few more times than strictly necessary (it was life-changing after all), will sometimes forget his/her notes and will probably embarrass themselves on a night out at least once within the first week of starting university. The typical student is probably you. But that’s okay because it’s also the majority of students. And, as long as you know how annoying some of your quirks can be before starting university, then it’ll be easy to make sure that you don’t get stuck being categorized as student stereotypes numbers one through seven.

Which student type are you? Have you spotted any of these student stereotypes, or have any others to add to the list? Share your experience by leaving a comment below.