Universities and Marketing: In Search of a Little Meaning

What they say: “The faculty at Harvard make a point of connecting with their students to create a fulfilling academic experience.”

What they mean: Unlike some universities, at Harvard you can expect teachers to actually remember your name. They may even say hi to you in the canteen.

What they say: “We’ve produced numerous Nobel Prize winners and more than 100 Rhodes Scholars.”

What they mean: Look, just look, at all the shiny, shiny trophies. If this was the Oscars, we’d totally be Best Film, Best Actress, Best Actor AND Best Director.

What they say: “The university has two characteristics: rich culture and tradition, with top-quality researchers, and therefore an excellent scientific reputation shown through publications and international exchanges; its concern to constantly adapt to present day social and technological changes and to encourage as many students as possible to study at Paris-Sorbonne while preparing for their future careers.”

What they mean: Watch in awe as we dare to use a colon and a semi-colon in the same sentence. Bet you didn’t even know that was a thing.

What they say: “The CampusCenter is located in Alsterterrasse 1.”

What they mean: Actually I’m afraid this highly sophisticated, subconscious-level marketing is way beyond even my own “expertise”. Either that, or they really just mean “The CampusCenter is located in Alsterterrasse 1.”

So there you have it – armed with a little foreknowledge (and a healthy willingness to take the mickey out of some of the world’s most prestigious institutions), you too can now cut through the layers of advertising-speak and locate the truth that lies beneath.