Why confidence and leadership skills matter more than grades

Stress is inevitable at university, but when it becomes constant, it can start to chip away at emotional intelligence and clear thinking. 

“From a psychological perspective, stress narrows cognitive capacity and reduces emotional regulation, making it more difficult for students to communicate effectively, reflect clearly, and make balanced decisions,” said Dr. Gallellage.  

However, the great thing is that emotional intelligence is not a fixed trait but rather a capability that can be developed with consistent everyday practices.  

When students intentionally cultivate self-awareness, emotional regulation, empathy, and reflective thinking, stressful situations can easily be reframed as learning and leadership development opportunities rather than sources of defeat or disengagement.  

Students with stronger emotional intelligence consistently show higher levels of resilience, more effective communication, improved teamwork, and stronger academic engagement.    

“When stress is supported appropriately, it can become a powerful catalyst for personal growth and leadership maturity,” said Dr Gallellage.   

Try these small routine changes to improve your emotional intelligence: 

• Regular reflective journaling or self-reflection to process experiences and identify behavioural patterns 
• Active listening and perspective-taking to build empathy and stronger interpersonal relationships 
• Proactively seeking academic or wellbeing support, recognising that asking for help reflects emotional maturity and leadership awareness 

Most of the decisions we have to make in life, often have to be made under uncertainty. This uncertainty can feel truly uncomfortable and the instinctive response of many of us would be to wait for more information, more confidence, or the right moment. But as Dr Gallellage points out, this waiting often creates more pressure rather than less. 

“One of the most important lessons we teach in crisis leadership education is that perfect information rarely arrives,” she said.  

“Effective decision-making is not about eliminating uncertainty. It is about learning to move forward responsibly despite it.” 

Another key reason you might feel stuck is emotional overload. Anxiety can narrow thinking and create a sense of paralysis, making even simple decisions feel overwhelming.  

So, in such situations, Dr Gallellage encourages students to first stabilise their emotional state before focusing on finding solutions. Pausing, breathing, and creating some psychological distance from the problem allows clearer thinking. In her crisis leadership training, Dr Gallellage introduces the STOP framework, which encourages students to ‘deliberately pause before reacting.’ 

• Stop: Interrupt automatic reactions 
• Take a breath: Calm the stress response 
• Observe: Notice thoughts, emotions, and context 
• Proceed: Respond intentionally rather than reactively 

To be able to effectively make decisions, one should also be able to distinguish between pressure that supports growth and stress that leads to burnout. Not all pressure is harmful.  

“A healthy challenge, while demanding, can feel purposeful and connected to learning,” said Dr Gallellage.  

Harmful stress, on the other hand, drains energy over time. It shows up as persistent exhaustion, emotional withdrawal, declining motivation, and reduced well-being. 

To help students make this distinction, Dr Gallellage encourages regular self-reflection through a simple question: ‘Is this experience stretching me or shrinking me?’  

If the situation is expanding skills and confidence, it is likely a healthy developmental challenge. If it consistently diminishes energy, self-belief, and well-being, then adjustment, support, or intervention is needed.  

Dr. Gallellage delivering crisis leadership training to Sri Lankan schoolchildren

When approaching graduation, it’s not unheard of for students to feel that their confidence is becoming more fragile. Through her work with final-year students across different countries and education systems, Dr Gallellage observed a consistent pattern.  

“Many students begin to question whether they are truly ready for the workplace, whether their skills will translate beyond academia, and whether they have done ‘enough’ to justify confidence in their next steps”. 

At the same time, concerns about final degree classification, comparison with peers, and regret about earlier years can create a sense of urgency and self-doubt. For some, this leads to imposter syndrome and the belief that it may already be too late to improve outcomes.  

Dr Gallellage highlights that confidence gaps can look different across education systems. While many Western universities offer structured employability and mentoring support, students from less resourced systems, particularly from the Global South, may face greater uncertainty as graduation approaches, alongside added cultural and family expectations. 

“Ultimately, confidence does not develop from perfection or ideal outcomes alone. It grows through evidence of progress, adaptability, reflective learning, and the ability to respond constructively to setbacks,” she explained.  

When students are encouraged to see their university experience as a long-term developmental journey rather than a single final result, fear-based thinking gradually gives way to growth-oriented confidence. 

Try these small habits to build real confidence over time: 

• Take time each week to review what you have achieved.  
• Record small wins to shift attention away from perceived shortcomings towards evidence of growth.  
• Actively engage in personal and professional development (skills workshops, online courses, career events, etc).  
• Seek feedback early and work closely with lecturers, supervisors, and mentors.  
• Learn to interpret feedback constructively.  
• Learn to reframe negative self-talk and develop a positive internal narrative.  
• Think intentionally about your future direction (set short- & long-term goals, a personal vision, and a mission statement).  
• Try to get practical experiences (paid employment, volunteering) to strengthen your confidence by expanding networks and developing transferable skills. 

Across her work, from rural schools in Sri Lanka to universities in the UK and beyond, one message remains constant: leadership potential exists everywhere.  

When students are supported to develop crisis leadership skills, emotional intelligence, and reflective growth habits, universities are not simply producing graduates.  

They are shaping resilient, ethical global citizens equipped to navigate uncertainty with confidence, clarity, and purpose.